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Category: Systematic Stress Management Program – Step 7: Communication & Stress

What Is Your Ear-Q?

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

Just like measuring an I.Q. (Intelligence Quotient), you can also learn about your Ear-Q. How well do you rate as a listener? Do the key people in your life listen well? Review each question below and fill in your responses. People frequently overrate themselves as listeners. You may also find your listening skills are sharper with certain people, such as bosses or best friends.

1. On a scale of 1 – 100, how would you rate yourself as a listener?

What listening characteristics do you have that made you decide on the above rating?

2. On a scale of 1 – 100, how would these people rate you as a listener?

* Supervisor

* Siblings

* Co-worker

* Spouse

* Employee

* Children

* Parents

* Best friend

3. Name a person who is a good listener.

What makes this person a good listener?

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026
Introduction 7

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

Listening and being assertive are two communication skills that help manage stress. Both are needed in personal, social and professional interactions.

When someone is misunderstood due to a listening error, stress can be the outcome. If someone cannot communicate their views in an assertive way, stress and frustration result. Effective listening and being assertive can be learned. The positive outcome will be improved communication and stress reduction.

Listening is more than just hearing the actual words of another person. Hearing just means that your ears have sensed or received sound waves. It’s only the first step. What follows is interpretation, evaluation and responding to what is heard. Blocks to listening disrupt communication. You’ll learn to recognize them and see how they can be avoided.

Being assertive is also a stress reducer. Assertiveness will help you communicate your views without creating stress for yourself or for others. You’ll also learn how to distinguish between assertive, passive and aggressive behavior and you’ll learn the consequences of each.

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026
Ten Blocks To Effective Listening

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

The following blocks can prevent you from being an effective listener. A block is something that will interfere with the message being communicated.

1. The Yardstick compares oneself with the speaker. Example: “I think I am smarter than this person.”

2. The Mind Reader reads the speaker’s mind instead of hearing what they are saying. Example: “He said he liked it, but I can tell he didn’t.”

3. Filtering is selective listening; only paying attention to what concerns you or to what you want to hear.

4. Jumping to Conclusions is having ready-made ideas about an issue before the speaker states it. You may draw conclusions which are incorrect.

5. Daydreaming is when the mind wanders and prohibits complete listening.

6. Advising is working on a solution while the speaker is still talking.

7. Boxing is picking out issues you disagree with by debating or “putting down” the speaker.

8. The Winner will go to any length to be right about some thing or look for ways to twist the facts in order to be right.

9. The Topic Shifter changes the subject before the speaker is done.

10.Pleasing is automatically agreeing with everything even before understanding it completely.

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026
Assertiveness Inventory

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

Using the scale below, place the appropriate number in front of each statement. Answer how you would honestly feel, not how you “think” you should feel.

Scale

1. At ease, very comfortable

2. Slightly ill-at-ease

3. Uncomfortable

4. Extremely uncomfortable

I AM…

1. Returning merchandise at a store

2. Making a business call or appointment

3. Asking favors from others

4. Speaking in public

5. Speaking to a very attractive person

6. Complaining about poor restaurant service

7. Being evaluated on my performance

8. Disagreeing with my boss or co-worker

9. Responding to strangers

10. Handling personal criticism

11. Questioning someone’s judgement

12. Venting my anger

13. Speaking up when I’ve been cheated or ignored

14. Dealing with uncooperative people

15. Declining an invitation

16. Declining to buy an item from a salesperson

17. Asking someone to stop talking while in a movie theater

18. Beginning a conversation with a stranger

19. Returning to school or taking a class

20. Refusing an unreasonable request made by a friend

21. Receiving a compliment

22. Offering constructive criticism to a friend

23. Reprimanding someone

24. Making a job change

25. Making or accepting a date or social appointment

26. Praising a friend

27. Sharing intimate feelings with someone

28. Offering a loan

29. Expressing my opinion publicly

30. Feeling angry towards my parents

TOTAL: __________

Tally your score. The range is 30 – 120. Evaluate your score on the following scale:

30 – 65: You are generally assertive.

66 – 85: You need practice to become more assertive.

86 – 120: Your lack of assertiveness is probably producing unnecessary stress

Regardless of how you scored, you should go back and star any situations which you find stressful. The assertiveness training techniques offered later in this book should help you deal with the stress these situations produce.

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026
Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

If you’re looking for a way to practice being more assertive in your communication, try the L.A.D.D.E.R. technique. It is a step-by-step procedure for being more assertive.

Step 1

Look at your needs, wants, rights, and feelings about the situation. Establish a goal for what you wish to accomplish.

Step 2

Arrange a meeting that is convenient, where you and the other person can speak comfortably.

Step 3

Define the problem clearly to the other person. Be specific.

Step 4

Describe your feelings using “I” messages. “I” messages let you take responsibility for your feelings. You are not blaming others for how you feel. It helps to connect the feeling statement with a behavior of the other person. For example, “I felt hurt when you didn’t acknowledge my work.” rather than “You hurt me when you ignored me.”

Step 5

Express and explain your remarks in an assertive manner using clear sentences. Be aware of your eye contact, hand gestures, posture, voice tone, and facial expression.

Step 6

Reinforce your remarks by noting the positive outcomes.

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026
Assertiveness With Other People

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

Behaviors vary in different situations and with different people. Because of relationships and other influences, assertive behaviors may or may not be communicated. This listing will help to identify where passive or aggressive behaviors need adjustment.

Determine whether you behave assertively, aggressively, or passively with different people. (Review characteristics chart.) Record A, B, or C in front of each.

(A) Assertive

(B) Aggressive

(C) Passive

1. Parents

2. Employees

3. Strangers

4. Relatives

5. Spouse

6. Business clients

7. Co-workers

8. New acquaintances

9. Classmates

10. Friends

11. Boss

12 .Phone or door-to-door solicitors

13. Sales help

14. Children

15. Elders

Review your responses. Do you see a pattern of more A’s, B’s, or C’s? How can you change interactions with others to achieve more A’s? Star the B’s and C’s that you consider to be stressful. Now review and label those 3 – 5 people with whom you want to improve your style of communication.

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026
Assertiveness

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

Another communication skill that relates to stress management is being assertive. It is healthy to express your needs in a way that does not harm another person nor minimize what you want to say. It is this direct, honest, and appropriate expression of your feelings that is termed assertiveness.

A clear indicator of whether a behavior is assertive, passive, or aggressive is the reaction of people to it. The following chart describes the characteristics of these three behaviors. After reading it, you can analyze your behaviors by responding to questions 1, 2, and 3 below.

Characteristics of Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Behavior

Behavioral Analysis Questions

Choose a behavior to analyze, then check off one or more responses to each question.

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026
The Benefits Of Assertiveness

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

Any behavior that has apparent rewards will tend to occur more often. Such is the case with assertiveness. Each person finds different rewards from this behavior. Read the list of potential benefits below and place a check next to those benefits you’d expect to gain from being more assertive.

* Greater ease with store clerks or strangers

* Get more attention from others

* Confidence in asking for favors or help

* Less discomfort with supervisors

* Feeling less angry toward others

* Feeling less angry towards self

* Doing more of what you enjoy doing

* Not storing up bitter feelings

* Being more clearly understood

* Having more personal time

* Greater options for advancement

* Recognition of work by peers

* Being able to graciously accept a compliment

* Changing your mind without guilt

* Feeling justified in speaking critically

* Feeling comfortable in requesting clarification

* Having the ability to say “no” comfortably

* Taking more responsibility for self

* Others listen to you

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026
Improving Your Ear-Q

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

The following are recommended ways to build your listening skills.

* Take 51% of the responsibility for understanding what is being said.

* Look for areas of personal interest in what is being said.

* Plan to report the conversation back to someone else.

* Maintain the proper attitude. Keep an open mind.

* Stand or sit close to the speaker.

* Listen for the speaker’s meaning.

* Identify the speaker’s purpose by looking for central themes or ideas.

* Avoid becoming defensive.

* Limit and overcome distractions. Pay attention.

* Go to a lecture and just listen.

* Practice active listening skills: paraphrasing, clarifying, and giving feedback.

* Take notes on something you’ve heard.

* Commit yourself to better listening.

Listening Exercises

Exercise #1: List 3 new skills you’d like to try to become a more effective listener.

Exercise #2: Ask someone to tell you a 3 – 5 minute story. Use the three skills of active listening (paraphrasing, clarifying, and feedback) as well as the skills listed in “Improving Your Ear-Q.” Ask the storyteller to rate you as a listener afterward.

Scoring – The score is based on the speaker’s assessment of the 3 – 5 minute exchange.

3 = Used the skill well

2 = Made an effort to use the skill

1 = Needs improvement

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026
Listening Blocks In My Life

Systematic Stress Management Program

Step 7: Communication & Stress Section

Introduction

What is Your Ear-Q?

Ten Blocks to Effective Listening

Listening Blocks in My Life

Skills for Active Listening

Improving Your Ear-Q

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Inventory

Assertiveness with Other People

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Assertiveness Training – The L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

My Practice L.A.D.D.E.R.

Using the “10 Blocks to Effective Listening”, fill in the chart below.

Action Plan for Improved Listening

Complete after reading this section.

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine

Step 1: Understanding Stress

Step 3: Type A & B Behavior Patterns

Step 5: Thinking Differently

Step 7: Communication & Stress

Step 2: Stress Management at Work

Step 4: Biofeedback Training & Relaxation

Step 6: Time Management

Steps to Systematic Stress Management™

RELATED ARTICLES

© American Institute for Preventive Medicine – All Rights Reserved.Disclaimer|www.HealthyLife.com

January 23, 2026