HealthyLife Articles

Tag: boundaries

  • Dating After Divorce

    FAMILY LIFE

    Couple on a date.

    If you’re a divorced parent with kids, you may be wondering how to handle future relationships. Kids often need some time to adjust to their parents’ separation.

    If you’re ready to begin a new romantic relationship after a divorce, keep these tips in mind:

    *  Consider waiting at least six months to help kids adjust to the divorce.

    *  Your child doesn’t need to meet everyone you date. Introduce them only if your relationship is becoming serious.

    *  Prepare for the first meeting with your significant other and child. Don’t expect the first meeting to be perfect.

    *  Help your child deal with negative feelings. Children often hold out hope that their parents will get back together. Seeing a new significant other in your life can be difficult for them. Be sure to tell them that you and your ex-spouse are not getting back together, but that you still love them and will be their parents no matter what.

    *  Understand if your child simply doesn’t like your new partner as much as their other parent. This is normal. With time, your child may develop their own special relationship with this person.

    *  Don’t ask them to keep secrets from their other parent. If you are dating, you may need to tell your ex-spouse about the person in case your child brings it up with them. Your child should not feel uncomfortable when they talk about it with your ex-spouse.

    *  Remember that your child is always watching. Be cautious about your behavior in front of your child, whether it’s public affection or things you say.

    Source: American Academy of Pediatrics

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Is Your Relationship Healthy?

    FAMILY LIFE

    Happy older couple.

    Sometimes it’s hard to know if you’re in a healthy relationship. This can include a romantic partner, friend or family member.

    Know the good

    Some signs of a healthy relationship include:

    *  You feel good about yourself when you’re around that person.

    *  You feel safe telling them how you feel about things.

    *  They listen to you, and you listen to them.

    *  You feel valued by them.

    *  You trust them, and don’t think they would do something to betray you.

    *  You can disagree or argue, but you don’t insult each other. Neither person uses personal attacks.

    Unsafe signs

    Ask yourself whether you see any of these signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship:

    *  They say hurtful things to you. They make you feel bad about yourself.

    *  They stop showing love or care when they are mad.

    *  They blame you for feeling bad about something they did or said. They may say you’re “too sensitive,” or, “you made me do it.”

    *  They hurt you physically, such as pushing or hitting.

    *  They keep you from seeing family or friends.

    *  They threaten you or try to control you. They want you to fear them.

    If you’re not sure if you’re in an abusive relationship at home, reach out for help.

    Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or go tothehotline.org.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Own Your Work From Home

    WORK LIFE

    Man working on laptop.

    Are you working from home or considering doing so? While working from home has advantages, it can also be a challenge. Set yourself up for success with these tips.

    Talk with your supervisor.

    Be sure you know what your supervisor wants you to get done each day. If you don’t know, ask.

    Keep in touch with others.

    Maintain contact with your peers, colleagues and/or customers. Check in with them often. Don’t allow yourself to “fall of the radar.”

    Have a space for work.

    A desk or table for your computer and papers is important. Don’t simply use a bed or couch.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Build A Strong Family Foundation

    FAMILY LIFE

    Family gardening together.

    Happy families have a strong foundation. This helps parents and children deal with changes and hard times. Every family faces challenges and stress. Here’s how to protect your family from whatever life throws at you.

    Show love through attention

    Connect with your kids or spouse each day. Take time to ask about their day or do an activity together. Have family meals when you can, play games or take walks together. Avoid being on screens too much, when no one is talking or noticing one another.

    Be open to learning

    Having a strong family takes knowledge and care. No one knows everything about families and relationships. Parents can take classes about child development. See a marriage counselor if your marriage is having trouble. You can also look into support groups. Ask your family’s doctor if you need help dealing with specific challenges.

    Care for yourself

    If you get burned out, you can’t help others in your family. Take quiet time to listen to music, take a bath or do whatever relaxes and calms you. Get regular exercise, such as walking, and include family members if you can. Talk to a trusted friend when you’re stressed or overwhelmed.

    Build your community

    Connect with others who understand and support you. Join a sports team, a group or a religious organization that supports family life. Community can make life fun and help you learn from others, too.

    Be open about problems

    If you’re stressed and need some time alone, tell your spouse or your kids. Explain that you need some time to calm down, rather than blowing up or feeling resentment toward them.

    Don’t overschedule

    Try to keep your activities and family calendar reasonable. When everyone is too busy, there’s not much time to connect.

    Sources: American Academy of Family Physicians, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • 6 Ways To Be A Good Houseguest

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of houseguest entering home with dessert.

    Each year, millions of Americans travel and visit friends and family members for the holidays. And with so many overnight visits this time of year, being a courteous houseguest is a skill that may come in handy. If you’re staying with a friend or family member, remember these tips:

    *Make plans well in advance.Don’t expect family members to drop everything at the last minute for your visit. Give them several weeks notice of when you will be coming (if possible) and don’t arrive earlier or stay longer than planned.

    *Consider a small gift.A bouquet of fresh flowers, a book, or an attractive fruit bowl are good host gifts to consider.

    *  Pay attention to house rules. Are there shoes by the door? Then you should take yours off when you enter.

    *Offer to pitch in.Ask if you can pick up some groceries at the store, or offer to pay for meals when going out.

    *Clean up after yourself.Don’t expect the host to do it all. Help clear the table after meals and wash dishes. The day of your departure, strip the sheets off the bed and offer to throw them in the laundry. Wipe off the bathroom counters after you use them. Put things back where you found them.

    *Send a note afterward.When you return home, send a short but sincere thank you note to your host.

    Source: The Emily Post Institute

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Avoiding Distractions At Work

    WORK LIFE

    Close up image of laptop with hands and phone.

    We all have days that are more productive than others. But you can be your best each day if you learn how to avoid the biggest distractions at your workplace.

    Put the phone away

    Is your phone frequently dinging with texts or people calling you “just to chat?” Do you find yourself checking social media or playing with apps when you should be working?

    Smart phones are a major cause of work-related distractions. Some employers have policies that prohibit cell phone use on the job. If that’s the case, you’ll need to follow those rules. But if your employer allows cell phones, turn off notifications and put the phone in a place that’s harder to reach. Some phones have an option that filters all calls except those from important or emergency numbers. This is a great way to allow people to reach you when it’s necessary, but to avoid non-essential calls and notifications.

    Use white noise

    If other people’s conversations or office noises are bothering you, consider ways you can soften or filter some of the sound. A white noise machine, fan or even headphones that play white noise or quiet non-distracting music may be helpful.

    Ways to get your focus back

    Everyone needs a mental break once in a while. Instead of checking your phone or social media, try these healthy tips that can energize you and help you get back to your work:

    *  Take a short walk around the building.

    *  Eat a healthy snack, such as fruits, vegetables, or lean protein.

    *  Drink a glass of water. Add a lemon or cucumber slice for more flavor.

    *  Get up from your chair and stretch for 3 minutes.

    *  Clean or organize your workspace. Clutter in your space can make your brain feel cluttered, too.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine