HealthyLife Articles

Tag: communication

  • Be Assertive 3

    SleepWell® Program

    Week 5

    Image of man practicing speech in mirror.

    Passive

    *  You lack expression for yourself.

    *  You do not stand up for your rights and needs.

    Result: You usually do not achieve your goal.

    Aggressive

    *  You stand up for your rights and needs, but at the expense of someone else.

    Result: You usually put down or hurt someone else. You gain no respect.

    Assertive

    *  You stand up for your rights and needs without putting down or hurting someone else.

    *  You increase the chance of achieving your goals.

    *  You express your feelings without becoming victim to them.

    Result: You build self-respect and feel good about yourself.

    What Assertive Looks Like

    Body Posture: Be relaxed and natural. Avoid slouching, putting your hands in your pockets, and facing away from the person you are speaking with.

    Eye Contact: Good eye contact is vital to convey self-confidence and interest. Don’t stare at the other person; this comes across as a challenge.

    Voice, Tone, and Quality: Use a strong, varied tone. Speak clearly and firmly. Don’t shout or speak too softly. Don’t whine.

    Distance from the Person: Don’t position yourself too far or too close.

    Facial Expression: Let your face convey the same message as what you are saying.

    Content: Use short sentences. Be specific, clear, and firm.

    Benefits of Being Assertive

    *  You can feel comfortable saying “no.”

    *  You have more confidence to ask others for help.

    *  You gain more respect from others.

    *  You feel less angry with yourself and with others.

    *  You feel justified to say what you want to say.

    *  You feel comfortable to request clarification.

    *  You accept compliments graciously.

    *  You can change your mind without feeling guilty.

    Practice First

    Plan or write down what you want to say. Have responses ready ahead of time to deal with questions and comments. Reinforce your remarks by saying what positive outcomes will occur for you and the other person. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend.

    Use the L.A.D.D.E.R. Technique

    This is a step-by-step way to be more assertive.

    *Look at your needs, wants, rights, and feelings about the situation.

    *Arrange a meeting that is convenient for you and the other person to talk.

    *Define the problem or issue clearly to the other person.

    *Describe your feelings using “I messages.” I messages let you take charge of your feelings.

    *Express your needs and desires in an assertive manner using a few clear sentences. Be aware of your eye contact, hand gestures, posture, voice and facial expression.

    *Reinforce your remarks by saying what positive outcomes will occur for you and the other person.

    Example:

    L – I wish my partner would help with household chores so I don’t stay up so late at night finishing what needs to get done.

    A – I’ll plan to talk with him or her after dinner tomorrow.

    D – Tell your partner, “When I stay up late doing household chores, I do not get enough sleep at night. I don’t have enough energy to be alert and productive at work the next day.”

    D – “I feel I could get more sleep with your help.”

    E – “I would like to divvy up household to-dos between us. I know we are each better at different tasks.

    R – “This change would help me get more sleep at night and I will have more energy when we spend time together.”

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Parenting A Teen

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of mother and daughter talking.

    It’s not easy parenting a teen. Your teen’s brain is still developing until about age 25, according to the National Institutes of Health. These are areas that control judgment, decision making, and impulse control. What’s a frustrated parent to do? NIH News in Health suggests these actions:

    *  Respect your teen’s opinions. Nonjudgmental communication shows your love.

    *  Be honest and direct with your teen when talking about sensitive subjects such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and sex.

    *  Respect your teen’s privacy.

    *  Have meals together.

    *  Help your teen make healthy choices and plan ahead for difficult situations.

    *  Meet and get to know your teen’s friends.

    *  Compliment your teen and celebrate your child’s efforts and accomplishments.

    *  Limit time your teen uses video games, texting, and instant messaging.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Politics & Family: Agree To Disagree

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of family around the dinner table.

    Politics can be hard to discuss. Often, the conversations turn into arguments or people getting upset because the other person doesn’t agree. When we feel strongly about something, it’s normal to want others to see our side of things.

    Family gatherings are common during the holidays. And, sometimes politics or touchy subjects come up, even when we try to avoid them. How do you handle it when you’re trying to keep the peace?

    *Find common ground.Even if you disagree about something, there’s probably areas where you both agree. For instance, you may have different opinions on gun control. But, you both agree you want your kids to be safe.

    *Don’t attack.Using insults or strong language can damage relationships. Remember that words have the power to harm others. State your point without hurting the other person or showing disrespect by calling them names.

    *Be prepared.If you know that Uncle Tim always says something that offends you, be ready. Think about how you can take deep breaths before responding. Sometimes, it’s better to walk away or change the subject, rather than argue.

    *Know that you probably won’t change the other person’s mind.When we care about something, we want others to agree. We want them to support our views. But, it may be best to accept that no matter how good your argument is, the other person may not change their view.

    *Think about a positive goal.Use disagreements to learn how others feel about something. Be open-minded and listen to their side.

    *Find other things to do.Remember that family gatherings are supposed to bring people together. Plan a fun family game or activity. This can keep people away from having tense discussions.

    *Be okay with different views.You can care about someone and have different views from them. Tell yourself it is okay to agree to disagree.

    *End the discussion when needed.Sometimes, people keep arguing because they’re trying to find a resolution. But, a resolution isn’t always possible. Instead, tell the person you appreciate their views, but you think it’s best to move on. Ask them about their personal interests or job. Share a funny story. Do something to break the tension and stop talking about the disagreement.

    Source: American Psychological Association

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Strike The Right Cord

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of young smiling family.

    Children can be strangled by window cords on blinds and curtains. In fact, such tragedies are among the top hazards in American homes. Infants and children die each year from accidental strangling in the cords.

    The Consumer Product Safety Commission recommends that only cordless window coverings or those with unreachable cords be used in homes with young children. They are available today in the marketplace and will prevent window blind strangulations.

    In addition, the Window Covering Safety Council encourages parents, grandparents and caregivers to follow these basic cord-safety precautions:

    *  Move all furniture, cribs, beds, and climbable surfaces away from windows.

    *  Keep all window shades, blinds, and drapery cords well out of the reach of children.

    *  Install only cordless window coverings in homes with young children.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Talk Smart About Finances

    FINANCIAL HEALTH

    Image of young couple with laptop and piggy bank.

    Economic flux hurts more than our wallets. Financial woes can lead to emotionally damaging arguments among couples and put unnecessary strain on the family, said Josh Klapow, PhD, a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. Dr. Klapow is the author of Living Smart:  5 Essential Skills to Change Your Health Habits Forever.

    He said financial discussions, and even disagreements, can have a positive impact on families struggling through uncertainty. The key is to make those discussions productive, not destructive. Dr. Klapow offers 5 talking tips:

    1.Keep a cool head.When your emotions are high-be it anger, sadness, frustration-thoughts get cloudy. Relax, breathe, wait 2-10 minutes, then start to talk.

    2.Start easy.Arguments often start because of a critical remark or an angry tone. Try to bring up problems and mistakes gently and without blame.

    3.Don’t assume.Talk about your feelings, not what you think your spouse or partner is feeling. Describe your feelings in first person with “I” and explain why.

    4.Think then speak.The goal of the conversation should be to problem-solve, not to win. Remember, once the words are out, you cannot take them back.

    5.Repair and recover.Don’t let the discussion get out of control. End on a positive, or at least neutral, note. Lean on patience, change the topic, or offer a positive comment to let the other person know you’re part of the same team.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Hearing Loss

    Ear, Nose & Throat Conditions

    People over age 50 are likely to lose some hearing each year. The decline is usually gradual. About 30% of adults age 65 through 74 and about 50% of those age 85 and older have hearing problems.

    Hearing problems can get worse if they are ignored and not treated. People with hearing problems may withdraw from others because they may not be able to understand what others say. Hearing loss can cause an older person to be labeled “confused” or “senile.”

    Signs & Symptoms

    *  Words are hard to understand. This worsens when there is background noise.

    *  Certain sounds are overly loud or annoying.

    *  Hearing a hissing or ringing background noise. This can be constant or it can come and go.

    *  Concerts, TV shows, etc. are less enjoyable because much goes unheard.

    Causes

    Presbycusis (prez-bee-KU-sis). This is a gradual type of hearing loss. It is common with aging. With this, you can have a hard time understanding speech. You may not tolerate loud sounds. You may not hear high pitched sounds. Hearing loss from presbycusis does not cause deafness.

    *  Ear wax that blocks the ear canal.

    *  A chronic middle ear infection or an infection of the inner ear.

    *  Medicines (e.g., aspirin).

    *  Blood vessel disorders, such as high blood pressure.

    *  Acoustic trauma, such as from a blow to the ear or from excessive noise. Noise-Induced Hearing Loss (NIHL) can be from a one-time exposure to an extremely loud sound or to repeated exposure to loud level sounds.

    *  Ménière’s disease. This is a problem of the inner ear. The hearing loss comes and goes. Dizziness is also a symptom.

    *  Small tumors on the auditory nerve. Brain tumor (rarely).

    Treatment

    *  Earwax is removed by a health care provider.

    *  Hearing aid(s). These make sounds louder.

    *  Speech reading. This is learning to read lips and facial expressions.

    *  Auditory training. This helps with specific hearing problems.

    *  Surgery. This can be done if the problem requires it.

    Questions to Ask

    Self-Care / Prevention

    For Gradual, Age-Related Hearing Loss

    *  Ask people to speak clearly, distinctly, and in a normal tone.

    *  Look at people when they are talking to you. Watch their expressions.

    *  Try to limit background noise when speaking with someone.

    *  In a church or theater, sit in the 3rd or 4th row with people sitting around you.

    *  Install a flasher or amplifier on your phone, door chime, and alarm clock.

    To Hear Sounds Better

    *  Use a hearing aid. There are many kinds. Examples are ones worn:

    – In-the-Ear (ITE).

    – Behind-the-Ear (BTE).

    – In-the-Canal (ITC).

    *  To find the hearing aid that works best for you, see an audiologist. Ask him or her about a trial period with different hearing aids to find one you are comfortable with.

    *  Use devices and listening systems that help you hear better when you use your telephone, mobile phone, TV, stereo, etc.

    To Clear Earwax

    Use only if the eardrum is not ruptured. Check with your doctor if you are not sure.

    *  Lie on your side. Using a syringe or medicine dropper, carefully squeeze a few drops of lukewarm water into your ear (or have someone else do this). Let the water remain there for 10 to 15 minutes and then shake it out. Now, squeeze a few drops of hydrogen peroxide, mineral oil, or an over-the-counter cleaner, such as Debrox, into the ear. Let the excess fluid flow out of the ear.

    *  After several minutes, put warm water in the ear again. Let it stay there for 10 to 15 minutes. Tilt the head to allow it to drain out of the ear.

    Repeat this entire procedure again in 3 hours if the earwax has not cleared.

    Resources

    American Speech-Language Hearing Association

    800.638.8255

    www.asha.org

    Better Hearing Institute

    800.EAR.WELL (327.9355)

    www.betterhearing.org

    Healthier at Home book by the American Institute for Preventive Medicine. www.HealthyLife.com. All rights reserved.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Sexual Health

    Sexual Health

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Be Assertive

    Healthylife® Weigh

    Part 4

    Women with arms crossed looking convinced and confident.

    Learn the differences between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication.

    Passive

    *  You lack expression for yourself.

    *  You do not stand up for your rights and needs.

    Result: You usually do not achieve your goal.

    Aggressive

    *  You stand up for your rights and needs, but at the expense of someone else.

    Result: You usually put down or hurt someone else. You gain no respect.

    Assertive

    *  You stand up for your rights and needs without putting down or hurting someone else.

    *  You express your feelings without becoming victim to them.

    Result: You build self-respect and feel good about yourself.

    Example: Your aunt offers you a large piece of cherry pie that she said she made especially for you. You know that you have eaten enough for the meal and eating the piece of pie does not fit your eating goals.

    *  Passive Response: “Thank you. It’s delicious!” Thinking… “I really don’t want to eat this right now, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

    *  Aggressive Response: “I can’t believe you’re offering me cherry pie when you know I’m trying to lose weight. You’re going to ruin my diet!”

    *  Assertive Response: “I appreciate that you went to the trouble of making this pie for me! It looks great and I’m sure it tastes great. I am very serious about losing weight so I’d like to split that piece with someone.”

    What Assertive Looks Like

    *  Body Posture: Be relaxed and natural. Avoid slouching, putting your hands in your pockets, and facing away from the person you are speaking with.

    *  Eye Contact: Good eye contact is vital to convey self-confidence and interest. Don’t stare at the other person; this comes across as a challenge.

    *  Voice, Tone, and Quality: Use a strong, varied tone. Speak clearly and firmly. Don’t shout or speak too softly. Don’t whine.

    *  Distance from the Person: Don’t position yourself too far or too close.

    *  Facial Expression: Let your face convey the same message as what you are saying.

    *  Content: Use short sentences. Be specific, clear, and firm.

    Practice First

    Plan or write down what you want to say. Have responses ready ahead of time to deal with questions and comments. Reinforce your remarks by saying what positive outcomes will occur for you and the other person. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend.

    Benefits of Being Assertive

    *  You can feel comfortable saying “no.”

    *  You have more confidence to ask others for help.

    *  You gain more respect from others.

    *  You feel less angry with yourself and with others.

    *  You feel justified to say what you want to say.

    *  You feel comfortable requesting clarification.

    *  You accept compliments graciously.

    *  You can change your mind without feeling guilty.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • 6 Simple Steps To A Healthier Marriage

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of young smiling couple sitting against a wall.

    Having a healthy, supportive marriage is important to your overall well-being. But the stresses of life, work, family, and day-to-day problems can put a strain on even the best marriage at times.

    Fortunately, there are some ways you can help keep your marriage strong – or work on problems before they become major issues. Here are some tips from the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center:

    1. Make every effort to keep your commitment.

    Marriage will have “good times and bad,” and you need to realize that challenges will happen. The key is to work through them and be aware that everyone has disagreements and difficulties. No marriage is perfect, but with extra effort from both partners, you can make yours last.

    2. Make time for each other.

    Even when you’re overwhelmed with work, children, or other tasks, don’t forget about your marriage. Set aside time for a dinner alone or even a weekend getaway if you can. If that’s not possible, have 15 to 30 minutes of time to talk and connect each day – without TV or cell phones.

    3. Have a sense of humor.

    Life’s little mishaps are easier to take when you can laugh at them. Mistakes that don’t really hurt anyone don’t have to turn into arguments. Don’t focus on who’s to blame. Laugh at it if you can, and work on a solution together. Forgive your spouse (and yourself!) and try to find the humor in the situation.

    4. Communication is key.

    This is an important aspect of any marriage. Talk about what’s bothering you – and what you love. Listen to what your spouse is saying, and don’t be quick to defend yourself. No one has to “win” an argument. If you both listen and respect each other, a solution or compromise can usually be found.

    5. Do “little” things for your spouse.

    Make a favorite meal for the other person, do the dishes without being asked, or leave a love note. These small things can add up to big happiness. Just showing your spouse that you care about him or her will help build your marriage each day.

    6. Choose your battles.

    Before you get angry about something, ask yourself if it’s worth an argument. If it’s important to you, approach the subject calmly and be honest. If not, take a deep breath and focus your energy on better things.

    Marriage isn’t always easy, but working to keep it strong and healthy can have big payoffs. People in healthy marriages have better mental health and may even live longer. Give your marriage the attention it deserves, and you’ll both enjoy the benefits.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Difficult People In The Workplace

    WORK LIFE

    Image of a business man looking off the distance.

    A manager rushes into his employee’s office at 4:30 p.m., drops a pile of papers on her desk, and barks, “I need these read, edited, and finalized by 8:30 a.m.”

    A woman calls in sick. She is shivering, coughing, and has a fever.  Her supervisor screams, “I don’t care what illness you have. If you’re not in the office today, I’ll take it as your resignation!”

    These are real examples of workplace bullying that cause stress, depression, and anxiety. The National Mental Health Association estimates that each year more than one billion sick days can be due to mental health disorders caused by work stress. That’s $193 billion a year in lost earnings.

    Psychology Professor Katerina Bezrukova studies the psychological effect of workplace injustices and intergroup relations at Santa Clara University.

    She says there are 4 kinds of co-workers and supervisors to look out for:

    1.Narcissistic.These types have fragile self-esteem. They may become outraged when someone challenges them. Bezrukova says avoid criticizing them. Document your own work, too, so you have a record of everything you do.

    2.Aggressive.To them, everyone is a predator or prey. That’s why they like to intimidate others and even bully them. They also tend to act frantic when a project comes in or a deadline is fast approaching. Bezrukova advises victims to stay out of the way. If they can, show them how management-by-hysteria can be inefficient.

    3.Rigid.These types won’t try anything new. They manage with viewpoint of “It’s my way or the highway.” This stems from fears of being pushed around. Bezrukova says let them feel like they are a part of the decision.

    4.Impaired.These people have ADD, anxiety, depression, burnout, or substance abuse issues. They need professional help. Employee Assistance Programs or other kinds of intervention are best.

    “People, who suffer from a workplace injustice of some sort, develop anger, frustration, anxiety, insomnia, headaches. These relationships, coupled with the connection between long-term, chronic psychological distress and increased risk of physical health problems such as cardiovascular disease, make this a crucial dollars and cents issue for business,” says Bezrukova.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine