HealthyLife Articles

Tag: communication

  • Family Matters

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of family sitting on a couch with their pet dog.

    Your family is where you learn who you are and how to relate to others. It plays a vital role in fulfilling the human need to belong and have close, long-term relationships. Whether you are a child, teen, or adult, family experiences can promote or hinder your well-being.

    Tips to foster family well-being

    *  Live a healthy lifestyle together.

    – Plan for, shop, and eat healthy foods.

    – Exercise as a family if you can. Or, promote physical activity suited for each family member.

    – Get enough sleep.

    *  Plan to eat at least one meal a day together. Have each person talk about his or her day, such as stating the best part and worst part.

    *  Spend time together. Attend important events for each family member.

    *  Express care and concern. Be available to help each other out. Listen, listen, listen.

    *  Practice good manners. Say, “Thank you” and “You’re welcome.” Make it a practice to send thank you calls, notes, letters, or emails to others for gifts and other acts of kindness.

    *  Express affection. Say, “I love you,” “I care about you,” and “You mean a lot to me.”

    *  Discuss the value of the family as a whole. Encourage individual expression and development.

    *  Define clear, yet flexible roles for family members. Assign family chores.

    *  Keep the house as organized as possible.

    *  Discuss the need to adapt to changes and deal with stressful events.

    *  Seek professional help for problems the family cannot deal with on its own.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Forget Shouting

    WELL-BEING

    Image of 2 men talking.

    While many people try to steer clear of arguments with family members, two Vanderbilt University philosophy professors offer a better solution.

    Scott F. Aikin and Robert B. Talisse co-wrote Why We Argue (and How We Should): A Guide to Political Disagreement. The trend to avoid arguments with loved ones has more to do with how bad we are at arguing than how strong our beliefs are, according to Aikin. “The better solution would be to improve our skill at making arguments in ways that allow for better, more reasoned exchange.”

    Aikin and Talisse suggest the following:

    *  Remember that reasonable and intelligent people disagree about important matters. Keep this in mind even when your relative says something appalling.

    *  When arguing, be sure to acknowledge your family member’s good points.

    *  Be prepared to say what it would take for you to change your mind. Consider what evidence would make your view wrong.

    *  Know the weak points about your view. Be able to articulate what the best arguments against your view are.

    “Acknowledging the opposition’s good points and seeing troubles for your own side are too often taken to be a sign of weakness,” Aikin said. “But it’s that attitude that actually makes us bad at argument and makes argumentative exchange so unpleasant and dogmatic. Instead, these habits make exchanges more reasonable and productive.”

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • How Was Your Day At School?

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of mother and her school-age child.

    Students are back in school, and now is the time for parents to develop routines to help their children succeed academically. Kimberly Greder, Iowa State University Extension and Outreach family life specialist, says parental involvement, more than income or social status, is a predictor of student achievement.

    *  Create a home environment that encourages learning. Set high but reasonable expectations for your kids.

    *  Get involved, with your kids, in school and community activities. Ask about homework. Visit with teachers and school counselors. Ask them what you can do at home to help your kids succeed.

    *  Ask your kids about their day at school.

    *  Encourage reading at home and be a role model.

    *  Watch who your kids hang out with. Make sure they are doing healthy activities.

    *  Get your kids involved in activities or sports to develop leadership skills and positive communication and conflict resolution skills.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Is Your Relationship In Trouble?

    SUCCESS OVER STRESS

    Image of couple not getting along.

    Is your relationship stormy? Indifferent? One-sided? According to Pennsylvania psychologist, Dr. Michael S. Broder, these are the three types of troubled relationships. They account for the high divorce rate, as well as the much higher percentage of non-married relationships that end.

    Stormy Relationship:

    This type has plenty of passion, but it may not be the positive kind. Positive passion is a relationship at its best. Too much negative passion results in a great amount of anger and discomfort. At the extreme, these relationships can become abusive and even dangerous. A relationship with a lot of passion and little or no comfort can still be highly charged romantically and sexually. In some cases the most passionate sex actually occurs after the meanest and volatile arguments. The sad part is that the cause of the anger is never dealt with or resolved. Thus, the pattern can continue indefinitely.

    Indifferent Relationship:

    With this type, most-if not all-of the passion is missing. There can be a very comfortable living arrangement, but partners may have little feeling or sexual desire for each other. Sometimes partners simply grow apart without anger, or there can be as much anger as there is in the typical stormy relationship. The main difference is that there’s just not the tendency to argue or do battle with each other. This may be a result of the partners’ personality styles, or the absence of passion-including negative passion. Instead, the relationship merely begins to die a slow and quiet death. In other words, it may be brain alive but heart dead.

    One-Sided Relationships:

    In this type, one person usually puts out much more effort and energy to maintain and nurture the relationship than does the other. One partner can be quite content, having all the passion and comfort he or she needs. Yet the other partner feels somewhat to totally unfulfilled.

    In all types of troubled relationships it is important to ask: “What is the potential for change?” If the answer is none, the next question to ask yourself is, “Is this where I still want to be?”

    Adapted from Can Your Relationship Be Saved? How to Know Whether to Stay or Go by Dr. Michael S. Broder.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Know The Signs Of Autism

    MEDICAL NEWS

    Image of father and young son.

    Autism affects about 1 in 68 children in our country today, according to the CDC. Autism is a developmental disability that can affect how a person interacts with others, learns, and behaves. For some people, the symptoms are severe. Others can lead fairly normal, independent lives.

    Although experts don’t know what causes autism in many cases, they do know that treating it early can help improve symptoms. Many children with autism show some signs between one and two years of age.

    Now is a great time to learn the early signs of autism and talk to your child’s physician if needed. Some signs to watch for are if your child:

    *  Doesn’t respond to his or her name

    *  Doesn’t point, wave, or gesture

    *  Doesn’t look people in the eye or respond to facial expressions

    *  Doesn’t like physical contact with others

    *  Repeats words or phrases over and over, often without knowing what they mean

    *  Performs repeated body movements such as rocking, spinning, or twirling hands or fingers

    *  Has obsessive interests in only a few activities

    *  Gets very upset with change or differences in routines

    *  Is very interested in organization, such as lining things up in a certain way

    *  Talks in a “robot-like” voice with no emotion or change in tone

    If your child has one of these signs or you notice any unusual behavior, it doesn’t mean your child has autism. But, you should talk with your child’s doctor if you are concerned or have questions about your child’s well-being.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Listening: A Skill Well Worth Mastering

    WELL-BEING

    Image of 2 men talking and smiling.

    You’ve heard the saying, “You’re born with two ears, but only one mouth.” According to the Society for Human Resource Management, being a good listener has many advantages at work and at home. You can come up with better ideas, work with others more easily, and connect with people more deeply.

    So how is it done? Try these tips:

    *  Don’t interrupt.

    *  Don’t offer a solution or advice unless the person asks for it.

    *  Don’t think about your response while the other person is still talking. Hear them all the way through.

    *  When the other person is finished, repeat what they said in your own words. “So what I hear you saying is…”

    *  Don’t make it about you. Remember the other person wants to tell you their story first. Stop yourself from turning it into a discussion about yourself or your problem.

    Having this valuable skill can enhance all the professional and personal relationships in your life.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine