HealthyLife Articles

Tag: memories

  • Coping With The Loss Of A Spouse

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of sad, older female sitting on couch.

    Losing a husband or wife is devastating. A whirlwind of intense emotions-overwhelming sadness as well as shock, fear, guilt, anger, and numbness-make the days and weeks after a spouse’s death agonizing and confusing.

    It may be small comfort to know that these feelings are normal and will be temporary.

    “Sadness may never go away entirely,” said clinical psychologist Dr. Hayley Hirschmann of Morris Psychological Group, “but the pain of acute grief becomes less intense over time as the good days start to outnumber the bad.”

    Dr. Hirschmann offers this advice:

    *Accentuate the positive:Studies have shown that those who are able to draw on humor and pleasurable memories are happier and healthier than those whose thoughts of the deceased are mostly sad and focused on their loss.

    *Let others help:Don’t shy away from expressing your feelings to those close to you; you will feel less alone if you can share your grief with a sympathetic listener. Accept help with chores and legal and financial responsibilities. Consider joining a bereavement support group.

    *Take care of yourself:Eat well, exercise regularly, get enough sleep. Be alert to falling into bad habits.

    *Don’t make big changes right away:Wait a while before moving or changing jobs.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Create Family Ties

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of three generational family.

    Families who spend time together as a cohesive unit are more likely to survive a crisis, such as an illness or job loss than those with poor coping skills.

    According to the CDC, good communication between parents and children is important for developing positive relationships.

    *  Teach active listening skills. Pay attention to what others say. Ask questions if you don’t understand what your spouse or children are trying to tell you.

    *  Hold regular family meetings to present complaints and set mutual goals and plans.

    *  Celebrate birthdays, holidays and other special occasions together.

    *  Learn the value of compromise.

    *  Be flexible. This is especially important if one parent returns to work or if one wage earner loses his or her job.

    *  Allow for individual strengths and interests. Don’t compare brothers and sisters. Allow family members to have “their own space.”

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine