HealthyLife Articles

Category: Family Life

  • Politics & Family: Agree To Disagree

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of family around the dinner table.

    Politics can be hard to discuss. Often, the conversations turn into arguments or people getting upset because the other person doesn’t agree. When we feel strongly about something, it’s normal to want others to see our side of things.

    Family gatherings are common during the holidays. And, sometimes politics or touchy subjects come up, even when we try to avoid them. How do you handle it when you’re trying to keep the peace?

    *Find common ground.Even if you disagree about something, there’s probably areas where you both agree. For instance, you may have different opinions on gun control. But, you both agree you want your kids to be safe.

    *Don’t attack.Using insults or strong language can damage relationships. Remember that words have the power to harm others. State your point without hurting the other person or showing disrespect by calling them names.

    *Be prepared.If you know that Uncle Tim always says something that offends you, be ready. Think about how you can take deep breaths before responding. Sometimes, it’s better to walk away or change the subject, rather than argue.

    *Know that you probably won’t change the other person’s mind.When we care about something, we want others to agree. We want them to support our views. But, it may be best to accept that no matter how good your argument is, the other person may not change their view.

    *Think about a positive goal.Use disagreements to learn how others feel about something. Be open-minded and listen to their side.

    *Find other things to do.Remember that family gatherings are supposed to bring people together. Plan a fun family game or activity. This can keep people away from having tense discussions.

    *Be okay with different views.You can care about someone and have different views from them. Tell yourself it is okay to agree to disagree.

    *End the discussion when needed.Sometimes, people keep arguing because they’re trying to find a resolution. But, a resolution isn’t always possible. Instead, tell the person you appreciate their views, but you think it’s best to move on. Ask them about their personal interests or job. Share a funny story. Do something to break the tension and stop talking about the disagreement.

    Source: American Psychological Association

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • Teens Can’t Resist-Really

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of two teenage boys on their cell phones.

    Don’t get mad the next time you catch your teenager texting when he promised to be studying. He or she simply may not be able to resist.

    A University of Iowa study in Psychological Science found teenagers are far more sensitive than adults to the immediate effect or reward of their behaviors. The findings may help explain, for example, why the initial rush of texting may be more enticing for adolescents than the long-term payoff of studying. They need help in regulating their attention so they can develop impulse-control skills.

    For parents, that means limiting distractions so teenagers can make better choices. Take the homework and social media dilemma: At 9 p.m., shut off everything except a computer that has no access to Facebook or Twitter, the researchers advise.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine

  • When You Don’t Like Your Spouse’s Friends

    FAMILY LIFE

    Image of 2 couples having lunch.

    If you don’t like your significant other’s friends, it can add tension to your relationship. If you find you don’t get along with some – or all – of them, take a calm approach:

    *  Get to know them better. Sometimes, first impressions are misleading. Try not to form a solid opinion of your partner’s friends until you’ve spent more time with them. You may start to like them if you form your own relationship with them.

    *  Focus on behaviors, not people. Think about what the person has done that you are upset about. If they are doing something irresponsible or illegal, for instance, this should be discussed with your spouse. But, if you just don’t like their sense of humor or love of football, you may have to accept your differences.

    *  Be open, but kind. You should be able to talk to your partner about things that are bothering you. Bring up specific behaviors of their friend that bother you and tell them why you are upset. Try not to insult your partner’s friend or accuse them. Together, with your partner, discuss ways to avoid future problems with the friend.

    Focus on keeping your own relationship healthy, even when you must have tough conversations about their friends.

    Friends are good for you

    It feels good to talk to a friend and share a few laughs. But having friends may have more benefits than smiles and memories. Research has shown that a good network of support from friends may lower your risk of some health problems. Some evidence suggests that people who have social connections may be less likely to have a heart attack. In addition, people who give support to others can help lower their blood pressure.

    Source: Current Opinion in Psychiatry. 2008;21(2):201-205.

    © American Institute for Preventive Medicine