Category: Family Life

Young children often have problems paying attention or concentrating. When are these problems serious enough for parents and teachers to be concerned?

According to estimates from the CDC, 1 in 11 school-aged children are diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), but research suggests that the warning signs often appear even before kids start school. As many as 40% of children have problems with attention by age 4. The most common mental health disorder diagnosed in the preschool years is ADHD.

Dr. Mark Mahone, director of the Department of Neuropsychology at the Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore, encourages parents to pay attention to their young child’s behavior.

In preschool-aged children (3-4 years), Dr. Mahone recommends that parents look for the following signs that are linked with an ADHD diagnosis when children reach school age:

*  Dislikes or avoids activities that require paying attention for more than 1 or 2 minutes

*  Loses interest and starts doing something else after engaging in an activity for a few moments

*  Talks a lot more and makes more noise than other children of the same age

*  Climbs on things when instructed not to do so

*  Cannot hop on one foot by age 4

*  Warms up too quickly to strangers

*  Nearly always restless-wants to constantly kick or jiggle feet or twist around when sitting. Insists on getting up after being seated for more than a few minutes

*  Gets into dangerous situations because of fearlessness

*  Frequently aggressive with playmates; has been removed from preschool/daycare for aggression

* Has been injured (received stitches) because of moving too fast or running when instructed not to do so

“If parents observe these symptoms and have concerns about their child’s development, they should consult with their pediatrician or another developmental expert,” says Dr. Mahone. “There are safe and effective treatments that can help manage symptoms, increase coping skills, and change negative behaviors to improve academic and social success.”

As kids grow older, many parents wonder when they can safely leave their child home alone. There is no one right answer for everyone, as each child has a different personality and maturity level. To help you make the decision, the Child Welfare Information Gateway says parents should ask themselves these questions:

*  Do state and local laws say my child is old enough to be left home alone? If you’re not sure, check with your local child protective services agency. To find yours, visitchildhelp.org.

*  Is my child comfortable being left home alone?

*  Can my child care for himself while I’m gone? (This may include getting food or drink, staying away from hazards, obeying house rules, and making good decisions.)

*  Do I have neighbors or trusted adults nearby who could help if needed?

*  Does my child know what to do if someone comes to the door?

*  Can my child easily contact me if there’s an emergency?

*  Does my child know his full name, my full name, his home address, and phone number?

If you answered “yes” to these questions, and you and your child feel ready, try leaving him/her alone for a short time while you’re close by. Check in with your child while you’re gone and talk about the experience when you get back. If it was a positive experience for you and your child, consider leaving him/her alone for a longer period next time. Together, you and your child can make a smart decision about being home alone.

Don’t get mad the next time you catch your teenager texting when he promised to be studying. He or she simply may not be able to resist.

A University of Iowa study in Psychological Science found teenagers are far more sensitive than adults to the immediate effect or reward of their behaviors. The findings may help explain, for example, why the initial rush of texting may be more enticing for adolescents than the long-term payoff of studying. They need help in regulating their attention so they can develop impulse-control skills.

For parents, that means limiting distractions so teenagers can make better choices. Take the homework and social media dilemma: At 9 p.m., shut off everything except a computer that has no access to Facebook or Twitter, the researchers advise.

If you don’t like your significant other’s friends, it can add tension to your relationship. If you find you don’t get along with some – or all – of them, take a calm approach:

*  Get to know them better. Sometimes, first impressions are misleading. Try not to form a solid opinion of your partner’s friends until you’ve spent more time with them. You may start to like them if you form your own relationship with them.

*  Focus on behaviors, not people. Think about what the person has done that you are upset about. If they are doing something irresponsible or illegal, for instance, this should be discussed with your spouse. But, if you just don’t like their sense of humor or love of football, you may have to accept your differences.

*  Be open, but kind. You should be able to talk to your partner about things that are bothering you. Bring up specific behaviors of their friend that bother you and tell them why you are upset. Try not to insult your partner’s friend or accuse them. Together, with your partner, discuss ways to avoid future problems with the friend.

Focus on keeping your own relationship healthy, even when you must have tough conversations about their friends.

Friends are good for you

It feels good to talk to a friend and share a few laughs. But having friends may have more benefits than smiles and memories. Research has shown that a good network of support from friends may lower your risk of some health problems. Some evidence suggests that people who have social connections may be less likely to have a heart attack. In addition, people who give support to others can help lower their blood pressure.

Source: Current Opinion in Psychiatry. 2008;21(2):201-205.

Caring for an aging parent puts a strain on marriage, said 80% of baby boomers. This insight is one of many garnered from a research study conducted by Caring.com to measure the impact of caregiving on marriage.

“Raising children is a challenge, but caring for aging parents can be an even greater challenge,” said Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz. “The time spent caring for an aging parent can take a serious toll on the caregiver’s relationship with their spouse.”

Baby boomers who are working full-time are providing financial help to aging parents and/or have aging parents living with them are at the greatest risk of marital strain.

Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz are the authors of the book Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage. They suggest these ways to cope with the care of aging parents while maintaining and strengthening your marriage:

*  Talk openly with each other about feelings, emotions, and stresses as they relate to your care of aging parents.

*  Make a concerted effort every day to keep the flame of your love affair with each other alive.

*  Approach all financial challenges with teamwork and open communication.

*  Don’t blame each other when things get tough, since casting blame never solved a problem.

*  Don’t wallow in self-pity. It’s a wasted emotion.

*  Enhance your love relationship by providing each other occasional time for privacy and solitude.

*  Remember that the simple things matter in marriage, and they need to be practiced each day.