Category: Family Life

As kids grow older, many parents wonder when they can safely leave their child home alone. There is no one right answer for everyone, as each child has a different personality and maturity level. To help you make the decision, the Child Welfare Information Gateway says parents should ask themselves these questions:

*  Do state and local laws say my child is old enough to be left home alone? If you’re not sure, check with your local child protective services agency. To find yours, visitchildhelp.org.

*  Is my child comfortable being left home alone?

*  Can my child care for himself while I’m gone? (This may include getting food or drink, staying away from hazards, obeying house rules, and making good decisions.)

*  Do I have neighbors or trusted adults nearby who could help if needed?

*  Does my child know what to do if someone comes to the door?

*  Can my child easily contact me if there’s an emergency?

*  Does my child know his full name, my full name, his home address, and phone number?

If you answered “yes” to these questions, and you and your child feel ready, try leaving him/her alone for a short time while you’re close by. Check in with your child while you’re gone and talk about the experience when you get back. If it was a positive experience for you and your child, consider leaving him/her alone for a longer period next time. Together, you and your child can make a smart decision about being home alone.

Don’t get mad the next time you catch your teenager texting when he promised to be studying. He or she simply may not be able to resist.

A University of Iowa study in Psychological Science found teenagers are far more sensitive than adults to the immediate effect or reward of their behaviors. The findings may help explain, for example, why the initial rush of texting may be more enticing for adolescents than the long-term payoff of studying. They need help in regulating their attention so they can develop impulse-control skills.

For parents, that means limiting distractions so teenagers can make better choices. Take the homework and social media dilemma: At 9 p.m., shut off everything except a computer that has no access to Facebook or Twitter, the researchers advise.

If you don’t like your significant other’s friends, it can add tension to your relationship. If you find you don’t get along with some – or all – of them, take a calm approach:

*  Get to know them better. Sometimes, first impressions are misleading. Try not to form a solid opinion of your partner’s friends until you’ve spent more time with them. You may start to like them if you form your own relationship with them.

*  Focus on behaviors, not people. Think about what the person has done that you are upset about. If they are doing something irresponsible or illegal, for instance, this should be discussed with your spouse. But, if you just don’t like their sense of humor or love of football, you may have to accept your differences.

*  Be open, but kind. You should be able to talk to your partner about things that are bothering you. Bring up specific behaviors of their friend that bother you and tell them why you are upset. Try not to insult your partner’s friend or accuse them. Together, with your partner, discuss ways to avoid future problems with the friend.

Focus on keeping your own relationship healthy, even when you must have tough conversations about their friends.

Friends are good for you

It feels good to talk to a friend and share a few laughs. But having friends may have more benefits than smiles and memories. Research has shown that a good network of support from friends may lower your risk of some health problems. Some evidence suggests that people who have social connections may be less likely to have a heart attack. In addition, people who give support to others can help lower their blood pressure.

Source: Current Opinion in Psychiatry. 2008;21(2):201-205.

Set rules for success if kids are home alone after school. The Red Cross recommends that parents and guardians take the following steps for kids alone at home:

*  Have your kids call you at work or send a text to check in when they get home.

*  Lock the doors and don’t open the door for delivery or service workers. Don’t tell anyone on the phone that the parents are not home. Don’t reveal this information online or in social media chats or texts.

*  Set ground rules for older kids about whether other kids can come over or if they can cook or leave the home.

*  Post an emergency phone list with parents’ work numbers, cell numbers, neighbors, and others the kids can trust including 9-1-1.

*  Practice an emergency plan about what to do in case of fire, injury, or other emergencies. Know where the flashlights and first-aid kit are kept.

*  Remove or safely store in locked areas dangerous items like guns. Keep potential poisons such as lighter fluid out of reach. Lock up medications.

*  Limit the time kids spend in front of the television or computer. Activate parental controls.