Category: Family Life

When a child says no to a request, sits and does nothing when expected to do something, and continues a behavior that the child has been asked to stop, that’s defiance, according to Dr. Daniel Waschbusch of the Pennsylvania Psychiatric Institute and professor, Penn State College of Medicine. Here are some strategies for dealing with defiance:

*  Address the issue before it gets worse.

*  Establish rules. Have house rules that are very clear about the things that are most likely to lead to conflicts or to noncompliance. Kids will know that’s the rule and that battle won’t have to be fought over and over again.

*  Give clear commands. Rather than saying “Would you mind going up to your room and picking up your toys sometime?” say “Go to your room and pick up your toys right now.” Be clear and concise, and give a specific time frame.

*  Give instruction when you’re sure you have their attention. Don’t give an instruction while the child is playing video games. Chances are they’re going to be attending to the video game and not to you.

*  Give them warning. It’s better to warn a child in advance that they are going to bed soon rather than waiting and telling them it’s time to go right now. Any warning can make a big difference.

*  Reward the positive.

*  Have a game plan. Prevent a situation from escalating by preparing strategies in advance. Doing this removes thinking on the spot and relying on emotions. Avoid intensifying a conflict by having your playbook ready.

*  Think long term. Think about it as an ongoing process. Keep at it. Improvements will be seen over time but don’t expect everything to get better by a certain date. Behavior doesn’t change overnight. And remember, sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.

Direct and honest communication with surviving children who are experiencing the loss of a sibling helps the survivors cope with their loss, according to research by University of Arkansas communication professor, Lynne M. Webb. Webb has directed research concerning the after-effects of a child’s death, specifically how parents interact with surviving children.

“Children respond best to direct, honest communication, even in hardships,” Webb said. “A parent’s first reaction may be to dance around the issue and conceal the truth to protect their surviving children, but children want an explanation.”

That explanation can take many forms and parents can adapt their language to the child’s age level. Children desire an explanation of what happened to their brother or sister, Webb explained. They turn to their parents as the most credible source for that explanation.

“It’s important that the parents, despite their grief, have direct, open communication with their surviving children so that they are not raising trust or emotional issues,” she said. “Parents can assist surviving children to express their grief in a healthy way by communicating directly and openly about the death.”

Choosing the right neighborhood is just as important as the actual home. A great neighborhood should have the features you need and also be extremely safe. The biggest mistake many homebuyers make is not realizing they’re investing in a good neighborhood, as much as in a good home.

The team at AlarmSystemReport.com, an alarm review site of top companies, has put together a list of tips to help buyers find out if a neighborhood will suit their needs.

*  Search, online, for crime data for particular areas and neighborhoods.

*  Contact the local law enforcement agency. Learn about criminal activity in the area. Find out if the neighborhood has a community watch program and other safety measures.

*  Drive and walk around the neighborhood to feel how safe it is. If it seems abandoned, dirty or has a lot of bars on windows, it’s probably not a safe choice. Look for signs of outdoor activity, such as families and people outside. It’s also more likely that homes that are well-kept are going to mean a safer neighborhood, since the neighbors take pride in their home and the surrounding area.

*  Check out the neighborhood school. Does it have a good reputation? Ask teachers.

*  Research if property values have improved over the last 5 or 10 years. Ask your real estate agent if property taxes have increased (a good sign).

1.Extreme changes in behavior:Not being aware of surroundings or familiar people. Changes in speaking, such as difficulty forming words or completing thoughts.

2.Signs of dehydration:Unable to keep down liquids. Frequent vomiting or diarrhea. Little oral intake and a dry sticky mouth. Urinating infrequently (less than every 8 hours in children younger than age 1; less than every 12 hours in children older than age 1).

3.Pains that awaken a child at night:headaches, stomach aches, or muscle aches that awaken a child from a sound sleep.

4.Abdominal pain that gets worse and won’t go away:If pain does not improve with child over-the-counter pain relievers. If a fever also is present. Pain with physical movement like walking.

5.Blood in urine or stool:Blood in urine is very uncommon in children and could be a sign of infection or a kidney problem. Blood in stool when a child has not been constipated. Blood in stool when there is a history of travel. Painless bleeding without bowel movement.

6.Pain or frequency with urination:Going to the bathroom many times in an hour. Pain when trying to urinate. Eating and drinking a lot but still losing weight. If a child is not verbal, look for these clues: irritability, crankiness, and fever for 2-3 days with no known cause.

7.Fevers in certain age groups:Any child younger than 2 months with a rectal temperature of 100.4 degrees or higher should be seen immediately. Ages 2 months to 3 years with a fever for 2 to 3 days but no known cause. Fevers lasting longer than 5 to 6 days.

8.Breathing problems:If your child does not have asthma and any of the following are happening: Rib cage squeezing, flared nostrils, straining abdominal muscles. Audible wheezing, which is a noise that sounds like harsh air blowing through a straw. A tight whistling sound during inhalation. If this isn’t helped by a cool mist or humidity, seek medical attention immediately. Coughing that is so severe that your child can’t breathe.

9.Difficulty drinking:Can’t drink enough to urinate every 3-4 hours. Going 8-12 hours or more without urinating.

10.Parent’s gut instinct that something is wrong.

Source: Dr. Hannah Chow-Johnson, pediatrician at Loyola University Health System and assistant professor of pediatrics at Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine

Young children often have problems paying attention or concentrating. When are these problems serious enough for parents and teachers to be concerned?

According to estimates from the CDC, 1 in 11 school-aged children are diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), but research suggests that the warning signs often appear even before kids start school. As many as 40% of children have problems with attention by age 4. The most common mental health disorder diagnosed in the preschool years is ADHD.

Dr. Mark Mahone, director of the Department of Neuropsychology at the Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore, encourages parents to pay attention to their young child’s behavior.

In preschool-aged children (3-4 years), Dr. Mahone recommends that parents look for the following signs that are linked with an ADHD diagnosis when children reach school age:

*  Dislikes or avoids activities that require paying attention for more than 1 or 2 minutes

*  Loses interest and starts doing something else after engaging in an activity for a few moments

*  Talks a lot more and makes more noise than other children of the same age

*  Climbs on things when instructed not to do so

*  Cannot hop on one foot by age 4

*  Warms up too quickly to strangers

*  Nearly always restless-wants to constantly kick or jiggle feet or twist around when sitting. Insists on getting up after being seated for more than a few minutes

*  Gets into dangerous situations because of fearlessness

*  Frequently aggressive with playmates; has been removed from preschool/daycare for aggression

* Has been injured (received stitches) because of moving too fast or running when instructed not to do so

“If parents observe these symptoms and have concerns about their child’s development, they should consult with their pediatrician or another developmental expert,” says Dr. Mahone. “There are safe and effective treatments that can help manage symptoms, increase coping skills, and change negative behaviors to improve academic and social success.”